First things first.

I know I said “no gifts,” but if you insist on going against my wishes, please consider looking here:

Thank you for joining me.

Here’s everything you’ll need to wander into the most mediocre retirement ceremony in the history of the United States Navy, including resources down there at the bottom, past all the stuff you won’t read.

Step One. Get on the Yard.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference.

- Robert Frost

ADHD sidequest:

Note: The chip in the DoD Common Access Card, or CAC, is actually a microprocessor that stores data and provides cryptographic services. You can read more about it here.

Have a CAC?

It’s easiest to enter through Gate 8.

Don’t have a CAC?

You’ll need to enter through Gate 1.

Step Two. Park.

There’s no traffic jam on the extra mile.

- Roger Staubach

Parking sucks. But not as bad as it used to suck back in the olden days during USNA’s hardcore years. Head to the parking garage across from Alumni Hall. If you do luck out and find a spot that isn’t reserved and doesn’t say F/S, take it.

There will be ten spaces specifically reserved for my ceremony near Dahlgren Hall and the chapel, but please refrain from occupying the spot lest it bear your name in print affixed upon the signage.